Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
