GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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