Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
