my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
