I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize