i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
