can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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