is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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