i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
