Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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