he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
