How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
