he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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