Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
