Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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