ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
