4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm sobbing to NWA
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