the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
