everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
