Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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