She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
