Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
