Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
