Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
