He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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