You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
