My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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