She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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