The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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