she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
