I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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