please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
