dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
