Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
