Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
