I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
