I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
