i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
