Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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