Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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