Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
