Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize