quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
