Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
