What a fucking waste of an outfit
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sext me about skeletons
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
