I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
