nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
