Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
