Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
