tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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