I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
