You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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