obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
