She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
