I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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