Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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