Pappa wants mamma naked
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
