Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize