Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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