these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
