Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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