i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize