Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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