the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
