i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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