I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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